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The Les Misérables food allergy parody that will knock your hypoallergenic socks off!
When Marius, Cosette, and...The Les Misérables food allergy parody that will knock your hypoallergenic socks off!
When Marius, Cosette, and Epipen are invited to an allergy-friendly party at the house of Jean Valjean, each must create a dish absent of all possible allergens.
To help fund an original musical by Michael Bihovsky, visit http://www.freshthemusical.com - for a limited time, you will receive special gifts from "One Grain More"!
To view the full creation story of "One Grain More" (including co-directors Michael and Lily's own experiences with food allergies), visit http://weblog.michaelbihovsky.com/2012/07/24/the-creation-of-one-grain-more !
(Follow us on Twitter @MichaelBihovsky and @OneGrainMore)
http://www.michaelbihovsky.com
**Lyrics**
VALJEAN
One grain more
A dash of millet flour might be the key
This never-ending road to gluten free
This horrifying food I eat
Will never taste the same as wheat
One grain more...
COSETTE
A quarter cup of cornflake crumbs
To meet my carbohydrate quota
VALJEAN
One grain more
MARIUS & COSETTE
A teaspoon of some xanthan gum
And still it tastes like...baking soda
EPIPEN
One more dairy substitute
MARIUS & COSETTE
Will I ever eat again?
EPIPEN
Drinking oat milk from a carton
MARIUS & COSETTE
What I'd give for pizza pie
EPIPEN
Now I spend my days confused
MARIUS & COSETTE
Or a slice of beef on rye...
EPIPEN
Wond'ring how you milk an oat
VALJEAN
It's so good to see you, Quinoa!
You're the protein source I chose
Still, you look as if I've seen ya
Coming out of someone's nose
MARIUS & COSETTE
Flax instead of eggs
Try to make it whip
Now what do we use
Instead of chocolate chips?
Carob doesn't work
Carob is a trap
Anyone who's had it
Knows it tastes like crap!
VALJEAN & EPIPEN
When the hell is this stuff dated?
MARIUS & COSETTE
Burned and bloated day and night
VALJEAN & EPIPEN
Why's it smell like something died?
COSETTE
What on earth is "lecithin"?
MARIUS
Love, I fin'ly defecated!
EPIPEN
This does not feel like a bun...
ALL
Do you hear the people sneeze
And cough and wheeze
From allergies?
VALJEAN
One grain more!
MARIUS
(simul)
So I added wheat -- I'm sorry
We still had some left in stock
Nothing says "it's time to party"
Like anaphylactic shock
So I guess this must be Quinoi
It's not so gross, I suppose
Still it looks as if I've seen ya...
COSETTE
(simul)
Will I ever eat again?
What if there's a trace of tree nuts?
Someone get my Epi-pen
I'm not supposed to breathe in peanuts!
EPIPEN
(simul)
Have you ever milked an oat?
Guess it's better than a goat
Try a little nog
Smoother than a silk
Even though it's made
Of neither eggs nor milk!
Have another roll
Harder than a rock
Better hold your breath,
Because it tastes like-
VALJEAN & MARIUS
Tomorrow we will bitch and moan
Tomorrow we'll need cortisone
ALL
Tomorrow we'll discover foods
That even vegans have forsworn!
Wish me luck
Mother(BLEEEEEEEEEP)
One grain more...More
